Q. Dear Jackie & Jared, I am seeing this guy at work, "Greg", who is totally cute, smart and sexy. He's very flirtation and attentive when we're in the office, sending me sexy emails and text messages, taking me to lunch, making out with me on the off hours, and he even gets jealous when other guys pay any attention to me. He often wants to hang around my friends and has even introduced me to his friends, and acts like we're a couple. I feel such a strong connection to him. He knows I'm looking for something serious: marriage, children, etc. and I get the feeling that since he knows I have these goals and still pursuing the relationship, he obviously wants the same thing as me.
But sometimes things get weird. Sometimes a whole weekend will go by and he doesn't even bother to contact me, and then at work acts as if nothing happened. We've tried to have sex a couple times but he can never get an erection. Also, Greg has a lady "friend" who I'll refer to as "Svetlana". I can't really tell what the nature of their relationship is, as she acts like a couple but he never talks about her in those terms and rarely mentions her. There's also another woman we work with who I notice he's become friendly with, and they've done things together outside of work. But then one night a week he always wants me to come over to his apartment and "play", which leads me to believe he still really likes me. We even went to San Francisco for work one weekend, and ended up spending the night together in the hotel. It was very romantic!
Fed up with all this confusing back and forth, I decided to Google Greg's IM name last week and discovered, much to my surprise, that he was on a website for swingers. When I signed up on the website as "RoseLips" to sneak a peek, I saw that he and Svetlana were on there, with pictures and everything, and it said that they had been swinging for three years.
I'm wondering: do you think he's desperately trying to get out of the swingers lifestyle and have a deep meaningful relationship with me?
A. Dear Sandra Dee, You. Moron.
-- Love, Jared
Hey Sister, I totally hear ya! A very similar thing happened to me too! And then I got therapy!
Call me if you need a referal.