Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Restless in Hancock Park

Q. I have the perfect boyfriend, he’s beautiful, sweet, charming and treats me like a princess. His house is always impeccable, and the décor is simply stunning. He has a great sense of style and pays attention to his appearance. He hates sports as much as I do and we both absolutely, to die for, LOVE Celine and Whitney. We spend all our free time together; we workout, shop, get our weekly mani/pedis, we have so much fun. I think I’ve found my soulmate, BUT….This is where I’m having a problem.... We’ve been dating for 3 months and the most we’ve done is kiss (no tongue). He thinks women are too aggressive when it comes to sex and he wants to take things slow. He wants to make sure the mother of his children is not some random slut. I’m getting a little restless, what can I do to speed things up without coming off like a slut?

Restless in Hancock Park

A. Dear Restless,
You remind me of me five years ago. I was engaged to a wonderful man, we were compatible in every way except in bed. I decided to overlook this small detail because a good man is hard to find. A trip to The Pleasure Chest and a few toys later my life was perfect, for a while. Then I met Thor and he rocked my world. After a week of great sex with Thor I had to call off my engagement, the experience left my fiancé devastated. He no longer dates women and I don’t think he’s ever gotten over me. If you really like this guy, you should go with the flow but I have to tell you that there’s no substitute for great sex.

xoxo, Jackie

Dear Restless,
I’m going to buy your boyfriend a one way ticket to the Land of Oz. He and Dorothy can take turns reading Truman Capote while I show you a good time on Saturday night.

Dear Jackie,

Thor?

Jared

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